1) The San Diego Padres

Migh as well be. They beat the Giants at everything else. Why not let them take over all of Giant fandom as well.

1A) Pat Burrell (7)

I stand by my claim that one more big hit by Burrell equals a statue or at least a plaque commemorating the Summer of ’10

2) Andres Torres (1)

Currently tied for the league lead for walk off hits after his booming bases loaded single won the game over the Cubs. Interesting fact: Jimmy Foxx holds the career record for walk off homeruns with 12

3)Barry Zito (6)

If I told you Barry Zito was the staff ace right now could you really argue with me, cause he is.

4)Matt Cain (3)

Still though if I had one game to win it would be Cain starting it as of right now.

5)Buster Posey (4)

“When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.”

6)Sergio Romo (14)

Has thrown some huge clutch innings and continues to grow the best looking wild west beard in the league

7) Pablo Sandoval (15)

Seriously, how many times did Pablo have to dive in the Padres series. 12? 13 time? And how many of those balls did he come up with? The hitting has imporved as of late, but as the year goes on I feel the fielding range may be limited to the discarded pizza plate he is standing on.

Brian Wilson (8)

He is a douche bag, but he is our douche bag

9)Aubrey Huff (2)

Really struggling at the plate as of late. But still manages to put together competent at bats, and opposing teams always have to be aware of him.

10)Tim Lincecum (5)

Yeah he is struggling. But there is not a pitcher in the league who hasn’t. You don’t win two Cy Young awards by luck. Stay calm San Francisco, set down the pitch forks and waiver wire thoughts.

11) Juan Uribe (9)

Looks like a cross between a character from the Fifth Element and Goldust of WWF fame.

12) Mike Fontenot (N/A)

The only game he has played they won, also he looks like the other guy from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

13) Madison Bumgarner (11)

Pitched great in his start against Padres and Matt Latos, really rebounded from a tough week.

14) Santiago Casilla (24)

The good Casilla should up this week. Eating up some innings and saving an already taxed bullpen

15) Chris Ray (21)

Rapidly becoming one of my favorites, just goes out and does his job.

16)Guillermo Mota (12)

The high innings total is starting to show on Mota

17) Javier Lopez (22)

So when Affeldt and and Runzler comes back the Giants will just DFA a guy they traded for right?

18) Ramon Ramirez (23)

He walks guys so he should fit right in

19) Jonathan Sanchez (13)

Here’s a guarantee, I guarantee Sanchez is traded before next year, I am over hearing about his promise. Less promises more deliveries please

20) Travis Ishikawa (16)

With Guillen on board is now nothing more than a left handed pinch hitter. Should consider returning to Hawaii and starting a coconut farm

21) Freddy Sanchez (17)

Playing time should in theory be cut back due to slump. But as we all know the best way to break out of a slump is to let a guy go 0-35 during a playoff chase.

22) Nate Schierholtz (18)

Now nothing more than a left handed pinch hitter. Should consider moving to Hawaii and starting a well manicured beard farm

23) Eli Whiteside (20)

Is the new fall spokesperson for Just for Men

24) Jose Guillen (N/A)

I have considered starting a rumor that Aaron Rowand is sleeping with Guillen’s wife just to see if Guillen will take Rowand out.

25) Todd Linden (26)

He hasn’t cost the Giants a single game this year

26)Aaron Rowand (19)

Rowand on the other hand cost the Giants a game all on his own